CHAPTER XXI

XXI

I understood that it would be foolish to go on like this. Cloistered within that solitude y delivered to those rites which…really corresponded to a well-defined purpose beyond seeking for a way to quench my own anxiety. Yes, I was certainly aware of that. Long ago, maybe not so long…How interested could Kornel be in, let’s call it like this, my evolution intended as a work to keep you near? I began understanding that he might be trying to pay a sort of old debt. Was I, then, a pawn for him in the same way as I played that role both for my father and you? The only obvious way out for me would be to take profit of all this, not only considering the interests that had moved me up till then. Could this then gain me some ascendancy among Roman aristocrats… and so make up a party against you? What could be the use of all that? After Pharsalus we knew that nobody could rival you. Furthermore, how on earth would I gain some influence through that mess of rites, anointments, visions….? What could this mean for my father, so aware of his fragile reputation due both to his lack of real Patrician roots and Cicero`s accusations, still lingering around? Was I doomed to this isolation that has suddenly become a sort of crossroads?

–Cornelia, I need Kornel to get in touch with me. No, it does not matter what it takes. When my husband returns, I will suggest him… devoting a temple to Venus Felix here in Rome. Yes, apart from the temple which was erected in memory of the Goddess who begot her lineage there would also be another one dedicated to that face of the Goddess to which your own father commended himself. Cornelia, please….

For the first time in all this time we have known each her look was both thoughtful and alarmed. Had I admitted something that should not have been disclosed? Why had my foolish impatience prompted me to mention that idea regarding Venus Felix temple? Sure, I am no more than a useless dunce.

–Calpurnia, please, don’t get so excited. What… do you really want of him? I personally think that this ointment he recommended you has done you no good. It is true that not everybody can be allowed to experience any kind of rites. Anyway, I will see how to put you in contact with him without the need of meeting at Cumae. What about your father’s villa at Pompeii? Remember, you have insisted on it. It is not convenient that he may turn up here (You are not….like my daughter) However, it is a pity: he would love to visit Domus Publica. When he saw it again after so many years, he was shocked by Caesar’s transformations on it. In the past there was neither this impressive flight of stairs nor the Vestals’ gallery. In fact, he could only recognize Villa Publica, Tabullarium, Circus Maximus, Jupiter Capitolinus’ temple, Bellona’s temple…and few things more. Yes, Pompeius has changed so many things in Rome…. Anyway, I must be cautious regarding Pompeii. Don’t forget many well-known families have also their villae there…

I was then aware that I was really looking forward to meeting Kornel in Rome, walking around the Forum, Palatine and Capitoline Hills by his side, examining his emotion in his eyes while remembering what once used to stand here and there… Should it be wise of me to get involved in such private affairs? Did I have the right to it?

–I guess you will have the courage to do so. I know you will.

In the centre of my room, watching my frightened amazement, he had taken off that hat which veiled his face all over.

–Don´t worry, Calpurnia. The distribution of rooms in Domus Publica makes it unthinkable that the Vestals might have seen me arrive. Apart from this, your husband is too busy in the East chasing Pompeius and most Roman noblemen are also fighting also there. We should only fear ladies’ viper-like tongues. But I don’t think they could be out there now. Calpurnia…. Don’t be afraid, we will go in Cornelia’s litter and you can veil you face so that you aren’t recognized.

–Why are you so interested in all this, Kornel? What do you get with it?

–You’d rather ask yourself what you want to get, New Alexander’s wife… knowing what awaits you in the near future, including potential risks , it’s time you should estimate whether this fearful seclusion would do you any good. You will need quite a lot of self-confidence and determination to go ahead. That is why we should start to do away with your fear as soon as possible. What will be the use of them when…?

He dropped a pause as he knew I had understood what he still had to tell me: if I wanted to strengthen myself and become somehow dazzling in order to recover what belonged to me I had to face my own obsession of keeping an appearance of absorbing discretion, something that had been impelled by the circumstances in which I lived.

–Calpurnia… I want you to breathe Roman air, no mater how rotten it is, especially now that heat is increasing… Just for a moment, a few hours, try to get over this asepsis that surrounds you in Domus Publica , though I understand your situation. What’s more, I need your guiding within this new Rome that I don´t know.

And so it was. For the first time after my teens (or perhaps in my lifetime) sitting next to Kornel, going along Via Sacra onto Palatinan Hill, leaving behind Flamines’ offices which he immediately recognized. Next, he carefully watched each of the domi which had been built in the latest years. His eyes clearly expressed some kind of amazement tinged with painful sorrow and alarm while staring at those Corinthian columns of jasper, porphyry stone and white, black, pink, amber or green marble at the entrance of each building.

-Considering that Roman faÇades are much simpler than the inside, it’s easy to guess what this is like, Calpurnia. Not only was all this financed by the riches produced by proscriptions. All that tide of scheming ones, publicani, novi homines, the new upstarts from the provinces. I am well informed about all this, Calpurnia. …

Those grey-and-blue eyes were looking ahead, thoughtfully, alien to their usual uncanny ability to explore the deepest bosom of one’s being.

–….And that lavishing imbecility of those who would keep their ancient lineage as their most solid value… All those patrician clubs may end up destroying the strength that, throughout the centuries, consolidated what we know as Rome today. Apìus Claudius…How could he recognize himself among this gang of good-at-nothing, degenerated demagogues who share his blood nowadays? At least your father’s does not display huge peacocks or lark hearts and Eastern-spiced sturgeon garum on his table… Don´t worry; someone, perhaps your husband, will have to restore old Republican values: you know, austerity, loyalty, cursus honorum as the only way to build a decent, well-balanced career… Today’s extravagance and spendthrift will be left only to those who will have grown richer too fast, let’s call them lanistae or quick-witted liberti protected by their former masters. No wonder your husband never told you about that. Yours has only been a few days’ marriage despite so many years gone by….Here behind, just where I spent my young years, he also knew about that face of Rome which you will never see, Calpurnia. No, I will not allow you to get into that area where he learnt too much about crossroads collegia, in which huge sums of money would be paid for ….personal services – shall we call it like that? – which were rendered to Roman patricians. That’s the origin of those groups of armed men who gave power to fellows such as Clodius Pulcher or Milo (yes, Cornelia’s husband)! I guess that Aurelia was careful not to give you too much information on this topic, when she told you about her Suburan insula Neither should I do, as you are a virtuous patrician lady, whose reputation must seem constantly flawless , according to your lord’s demands. But I am afraid that, once you have got over your shyness, fascinated by what’s occult and picturesque, you may want to explore all that. Then I warn you, that no-one from Palatine Hill with some basic sense of survival would think of wandering through Subura. It could also break your heart. You will see not only low–stuffed individuals…but also shopkeepers, teachers, craftsmen… So many thousands who do not belong to your class but have to survive in Rome…. Doomed to living in five or even seven-floored bee-hives with no wells or water, whose structure makes them prone to frequent fires, thanks to many of these upstarts who want to be patricians’ equals by living far from Subura’s stagnant damp heat, where stinking remainders speed up death rate. Could you face what I am telling you about, Calpurnia? In this atmosphere, why should it seem strange to us, the proliferation of hired killers and pimps? This is utterly different from those nice streets in Pompeii, with their small shops under the arches, their taverns selling ready-made meals and small squares filled with ambulant teachers and their pupils.. At least our slaves live in our houses and, in many cases, eat decently… Gods, Calpurnia… and this will get worse and worse. At this pace suburae after suburae will go on springing around Rome. What do you think they will be forced to do, so many peasants who have no chance of having some land of their own in Southern Campania? This will be the woodworm which will gnaw on the basis of Rome. Beyond all that net of intrigues which will be woven around power in the future… When your husband victoriously returns, you should remind him where he comes from and encourage him to care about that area. Controlling compitalia would be a good idea. Nevertheless, I know that, as a patrician, loyalty is indelibly stamped within himself… and he will always take it into account regarding those who saw his childhood and young years…. Calpurnia, we had better go down to the Forum and watch everything Pompeius has done. As far as I have seen, all the ostentation, knowing everything I know about him. Just what I told you before: these new men! Just compare his curia with poor Hostilia. Do they say that the same fire destroyed Basilica Portia? If I believed in all the omens, I would say this is a most serious sign: the burning of the one who best represented the wreck of values causing the collapse of two great Republican symbols. Don’t you think this goes further than a simply superstitious belief in portents, Calpurnia?