III
It was Cornelia who brought the subject up that day. That issue which
should never be spoken of among us. Those stories in which our ancestors used
to believe and were forbidden to patricians as they were considered too
primitive. Those strong forces that had their command over fountains, ponds,
roads, the air, trees, flowers… Animated, lively… There sprung that subject
which related to those lands on the other side of our
world, where you had been campaigning for a long time, overseas, . Over
there those powers were widely worshipped
, not being reduced to a vulgus,
still anchored to archaic Italic beliefs. These peoples overseas still kept
their faith, proudly loyal to their identity.
- They say that rivers and fountains are not governed by Carmenta or the
Nymphs but by ethereal living beings that can even adopt certain shapes, mainly
female figures. It is thought that there appear translucid maidens who can
become huge, blinding, with either golden or red-golden hair – I smiled :
Cornelia’s rebellious hair was also reddish and fair – and rare, widest, green
eyes… an unreal shade of green … that of emeralds. Able to ravish any man’s
senses –no matter how reticent he might tend to be- and drag him to the bosom
of the waters; mainly if these are enemies to the natives . a magnificent
weapon, against Caesar’s legions-she might have noticed my restless look- No,
my dear. You may not have had enough time to get to know your husband. He is
not that kind of mettle, believe me. Neither was my father, no matter what you
have been told about him. The spirits who dwell in the forests are like our
goddesses Pomona, flora, Adolenda and Comolenda. They are called white and
green ladies. Tall, transparent visions. Our Epona is the White Mare. Hekate
and Laverna’s realm is that of the Crow Goddess, the Sorceress, the Guardian of
Wisdom…. Yes, there is such a perfect coincidence. All in all, it is based on
the worshipping of a goddess like Old Tello, a fruitful Mother Goddess. … and
who helps mothers like Iuno Sospita or Bona Dea herself…. – I had another sip of
wine, mixed with mint water, like Cornelia herself had taught me to prepare it
: it would be of no use to Calpurnia’s husband, alien to a single drop of wine
since his earliest memories. Yes, my lord, she was the one who opened up new paths to me, far beyond what you or
your own mother could have imagined…. Aurelia….
That happened to be an early dinner at the beginning of summer. It was
still sunny and damp heat was heavily felt throughout the triclinium . We went out into the wide peristilus that your mother had decorated by mixing palm trees
brought by you from the Eastern provinces and all those cypresses and pine
trees without whose perfume she could not certainly do. She often told me how
good it had been for you in your insula
suburana , protecting you from serious health problems related to lungs,
those you nephew seems to have inherited . That wine had begun to take hold of our veins and
perception… or maybe was it Cornelia’s prodigious capacity to evoke?
- Who keeps you so well-informed, my dear? Why on earth are you
interested in convincing us of those Barbarians’ wonderful virtues?
Sulla’s daughter laughed. She still kept all her teeth , with no need of
having them enamelled . I think she is even older than you. It might be true,
after all, that story about the Gallic slave she had at her permanent service…
for anything she could fancy.
- You forget that my father lived within a
Gallic tribe for a long time, pretending to be one of them. Learning not only
about their military strategy but their
lifestyle as well. . It quite impressed him how deep that was, the influence of
the sacred in each particle of the world . Nothing to do with our ancient
vegetation myths. He even took one of their women as his wife and left his own
offspring there, as I later came to know. They might be about my age. Who
knows, Calpurnia! Even your husband may have met them.
- Once again, Cornelia… why such an immense interest? – Marcia, as it
was usual about her, let herself be driven by her intuition. Like me, she
lacked that deep intellectual education which Marcus Portius had given to his
daughter – You know her husband’s comments on Gallic priests and priestesses in
his letters.
- Yes, like all Romans do. Though not even having seen their portraits.
Those hags with grey, untangled hair and mad-like eyes, dressed in white,
animal skulls hanging off their waists… you must consider that they don’ t
differ much from our ancient sybils . There are women who, since their teens,
have been eating hallucinogenic fungi and endured hardest fasting in order to
stimulate their senses and , therefore, develop their inner sight. If you add
the fact of living in isolation from a refined world as ours, alien to luxury,
the importance of keeping a good look, cultivating friendship and enjoying good
conversation…. Then it is clear to see. You cannot compared them to us, noble
Roman ladies.
- …. Furthermore…. – Portia was alert – Do you
think Caesar…. is being wholly frank in his depictions. Though being his wife, Calpurnia, you know what he is like. Any information
from him will always be focused on making us see that those people really are
Rome’s enemies. Your husband is a real strategist and a skilful manipulator of
Romans’ will. You cannot deny that… -“Unlike my father”, I felt her think .
Marcia also seemed to have the same view. Then I got aware that , for a few seconds, both of them had remembered
each of the confrontations between Marius and you. Cornelia, such a clever
negotiator family heritage, no doubt – grasped that tense atmosphere that had
unexpectedly sprung up among us
-My dear Calpurnia. Sure, I don´t mean to distort what your husband lets
us know . I just… wanted to make you see that there is so much in common
between those peoples’ way of… fearing, waiting… living… and ours. Anyway,
those were our primitive roots , the farmers’. Remember that part of Italy has
belonged to the Gaul for many, many years. Do not discard that our dear
Pompeius Magnus may have some Gallic traces within his lineage.
Cornelia’s clear, cat-like eyes danced, set within her almost
transparent lashes- they were said to be her father’s – No doubt there was much
more running through her thoughts.
-But, Calpurnia…. Aren’t you the Pontifex
Maximus’wife… and anything that may suit the legions’ will and his own
ambition? Aren`t you aware that you must play a role beyond remaining here,
resigned to be sat among the Vestals, even when your husband is back? - Not
even could Portia and Marcia’s terrified, confused looks stop her- Girl… I do
not intend to be too explicit. Just
remember that you have no children yet.. – What Cornelia was trying not
to mention started to beat heavily inside my chest. Everything that had been
told about Servilia…. I recalled that cold disdain I used to see in those eyes
whenever I caught her look , that hurting humiliation…. All that in front of
your mother Aurelia, perhaps not so alien to it all. I firmly looked within
those clear, penetrating eyes. Cornelia swallowed. I held her look to force her
to go on.
- You know what happened to Pompeius, my child. And… what about my own
father? You have to build up a position for yourself, desperately seek for a
solid role that really belongs to you alone, making you capable to indelibly
stamp a trace, just like your husband’s. Do not let yourself end up like….my
father …. Or my stepmother. You know that he will not grudge it to you. He is
friendly and perfectly knows that you will never be able to compete with him.
It is obvious that you must never act in public. You are bound to a private, silent
….hidden work. Have you ever heard about an ancient tradition which is still
kept by some peoples… that of the royal priestesses and healing queens?
The three of us watched her in horror.
- Rome stopped being a monarchy more than four hundred years ago!!! –
Portia’s burning eyes pointed at me – What does your husband really intend ?
- He has never mentioned what you mean, Portia. It’s only your father
and the optimates’ obsessive fears.
- Calpurnia…. – Cornelia had softened her voice, somehow trying to
comfort me. – My father…. He would constantly repeat it .” In this man there
are many Marii “ Yes, we should also
remember that your own mother-in-law used that there were many Sullae within her son. That is what keeps me
particularly sensitive about that.
- Cornelia… to which extent … did you love or hate your father?
No doubt, I caught her defenceless. Her eyes seemed to look beyond us.
- He was …. So uniquely beautiful … and, if it pleased him, ready to
fully assume his role as a paterfamilias ,
owner of the existence of each of us . He was even compared to Apollo , which
was no wrong view at all. By the time your father, Portia, and our husbands met him , his look had
already turn into a ruin. But your husband, Calpurnia, did have the opportunity
of watching him in his prime . Didn’t
your mother in law tell you about him?
…. Yes, I am sure that she must certainly have depthened into this
subject . He was not human; he could not have been a common human being. There
was something grand, a touch of brilliantly calculated ambition, even some
pitiless force… alien to whatever you may expect of anybody you know. Including
your own husband, Calpurnia. Caius has a merciful human self which my father
almost lacked.
- Cornelia, did you even know… ? Did you remember anything about your
grandmother? His mother, I mean… - Cornelia’s look suddenly grew into some sort
of ferocious, intense, devouring brightness. Might they have been her father’s
eyes, responding to an unconscious spell ?
- Of course , I didn`t …. – It was a profound, controlled voice,
deprived of any previous casual undertone – I doubt that he could remember her
…. Or that he was even willing to it. As for my aunt, his sister, I hardly ever
saw her (You know my father’s ways) But what most of you ignore is his wisdom,
his eagerness to learn, his brilliant mind… Yes, no-one speaks a single word on
his writings or his deep love for theatre and music.
I could read it clearly, all that irony in Portia’s half-closed eyes.
Like most Romans aristocrats and members of the political class, she knew quite
a lot about Lucius Cornelius’ crush on actors and male dancers. Anyway, I
always had the idea that, like many other historical celebrities, Sulla’s
memory had remained darkened by all those supposed proscriptions that had been
made when he appointed himself as a dictator
after his return, and, therefore, the immense wealth all of it meant for many
antimariani – What wouldn`t
your dilected foster-son have done about it, my husband!. Another element had
been that unexpected profit, which, at
the age of thirty-something, allowed him to
him start a political career . Such a suspicious stroke of luck! All
these things blurred away all his
efforts – that you know well I cannot deny- to recover a strong Republic and
restore Roman patricians’ honour after brilliant, courageous but ambitious
upstarts like Caius Marius had been on the verge of ending up with it. Both you
and I have even heard your mother speaking about it. You cannot hide that, my
lord. Obviously, she would have never revealed that in front of our
lady-friends. Moreover, she had passed away a long time before . Therefore, it
would not have been proper of me to add anything to that story, spread by her
own slaves throughout Subura. Of
course it was diffused silently, fully aware of the person that was involved in
it and what his reaction would be like if he ever came to know about it. I
guess she would not tell you much on this subject, either. Though you really
owe him to be able to grow up and become the man who, at that time, was
beginning to be the talk of the town and even worry the Senate.
- Cornelia…. What does it all have to do , this stuff about natural
forces and the fact that I might have an influential role of my own but in my
husband’s shadow?
Some kind of slight, rosy, reddish, golden veil started to spread all
over the tops of the pines and cypresses, whose green was gradually getting
dark. The damp airstream coming from
Ostia was beginning to be felt through the palla
into my arm skin while I was trying to find out the answer in those eyes-
almost as transparent as yours, my husband – twinkling within the growing sunset gloom.
-Your father, Lucius Calpurnius Piso , has frequently acted as an augur.
!- I nodded – He possess a remarkable ability ;I bet it is a natural gift, the
capacity to study and interpret the movement of stars. … and this is usually
transmitted through blood, Calpurnia…
-Many Roman noblemen have been augurs, Cornelia… - I clearly saw that this was no more than an
excuse, hiding another reason. But, how on earth were you able to know about
that…? An old shiver returned to my bone marrow.
-What I meant was that, like those queens from ancient times who were
also priestesses and healing ladies, you could silently start performing some
kind of similar role in order to restore the link between Rome and those
forgotten natural forces . Calpurnia… this is all about the possibility for
roman patrician women to recover their role as life bestowers, channelling that
force beating inside . There might come a time when not even Juno Sospita or
Venus’ diverse faces will be meaningful for us anymore. We cannot forget those
who have sustained Rome’s life from the very beginning …. And who may have made
an important contribution to develop its power so far.
I think the three of us ignored to what extent Cornelia might be
impressed by anything imprecise, some kind of powerful, crucially magic-like
stuff . Might there really be some sort of archaic telluric forces beyond our
limits? I had never listened to such a
bold speech of hers in front of you mother Aurelia. No doubt Cornelia would have considered that such an utterly improper thing to do
- My dear Cornelia, were it as
you say, how could I carry it out, anyway? Should I send for the Vestals and
inform them about my plans of creating a new kind of female priesthood, led by
someone who is neither a vestal or a maiden? Sometimes I even think that it is
you that ought to be here in my place, not only because your age is similar to
my husband’s. Yes, it should have been you instead of Pompeia from the very
beginning…
I instinctively bit my tongue. Cornelia’s sharp, brilliant eyes turned
dull and began wandering around. Her jaw unwillingly started to quiver
slightly. She would not lead the conversation anymore during the rest of the
evening
